


The World Spins and So Do I

by HoodiesandComputers



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), olicity - Fandom
Genre: Drama, F/M, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 21:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1402774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoodiesandComputers/pseuds/HoodiesandComputers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An old friend visits Felicity, telling her he regrets not reciprocating her feelings for him. Here's to hoping history doesn't repeat itself. Olicity. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The World Spins and So Do I

"Alright Felicity, what's on the schedule today?"

She takes out the schedule from the printer and hands it to Oliver, rolling her eyes as she does so. "I print this out  _and_  email it to you everyday. When are you going to actually read it?"

Oliver grins boyishly, dramatically scanning it as he looks at the schedule. Felicity resumes back to her extracurricular research for a moment before she hears Oliver say "What's this meeting I'm having at 11:15?"

He's genuinely confused. Felicity shrugs and pulls it up on her screen. "Let me see … It's a meeting with Richard Holden from Wayne Enterprises's R&D department." He's still bewildered, and Felicity can almost hear him say  _But when did this happen?_

She tilts her head and stares at Oliver. "Really," she deadpans.

Now it's his turn to shrug. "I've been busy."

Felicity is tempted to roll her eyes again, but upon seeing Oliver walk inside his office with a bit of a bounce she's glad she didn't. Sometimes he needs a break, too.

* * *

 

The coffee machine broke, and she has a nagging feeling it might have been Oliver. Sometimes he forgets when to handle things precariously, and since he has a lot of money to burn it doesn't cross his mind to actually take care of his possessions. Sighing, Felicity wonders if she has enough time to get juice for the meeting between Holden and Oliver. She already has four water bottles, but variety is key in these meetings. She doesn't want Mr. Holden to think Oliver Queen's EA is incompetent.

It's settled then: she'll simply ask him what he wants. Feeling a little bored, Felicity opens up Facebook and scrolls through, stalking her high school peers until Ashley, the receptionist of this floor, calls and tells Felicity Mr. Holden is here. "Thanks Ashley," Felicity says nicely. She receives a grunt instead.

_Rude much?_  Pressing the intercom button, she buzzes for Oliver. "Guess what?"

"He's here?"

"Yeah. Everything is ready in your office. Need anything else?"

He doesn't respond, but when Felicity stands up a little he gives a thumbs up. Oliver gets up from his desk and enters Felicity's room, waiting for Holden to come in. He's wearing a grey suit with a green tie, and she smiles a bit at his obvious tie choice. Suddenly Oliver groans and stretches his neck; Felicity watches from her seat, hoping he doesn't act completely disinterested as he did in the last meeting.

"Got a crick in your neck, or are you hoping Holden falls down and magically can't make it to the meeting?"

He sighs slightly. "I just need to rest, that's all. And I would never want to wish ill will towards anyone. Especially not Holden," he adds in afterthought.

Oliver's not telling her something, but she can tell it's a slightly serious. Truth be told, he's always had a small rivalry with Bruce Wayne, and seeing how successful Wayne Enterprises is doing only adds to the list of grievances Oliver has to deal with. Both stuck in their own thoughts, they don't realize Holden's here until the elevator door rings. Oliver stands straighter and Felicity gets up, leaving her safe haven to greet Holden.

Except there's someone else with him, and she knows exactly who it is.

Her heart begins to thud beneath her chest while her ears start to burn at the tips. Her first instinct is to completely ignore him, but Mr. Holden is an important person, and ignoring his partner would only make things worse. A strange sensation begins to form in her stomach; she wants to vomit and open her mouth all at once. Maybe she should lie and say she's having female issues. That might work. If she hides out in the bathroom for the duration of the meeting she won't have to—

" … and this is Felicity, my EA."

Time catches up to her and she's forced back to reality.  _Oh no._  Once Felicity manages to peek at Holden (who resembles burnt Doritos) her mouth refuses to open. She can see him through her peripheral vision, and it's taking every ounce of strength not to bolt right out of there. She nods instead and prays to God no one — especially Oliver — sees this as a problem.

But she has a feeling they already know.

Felicity can almost feel Oliver's confusion. To dispel any sort of extra awkwardness, Oliver clasps his hands together and says, "Right. Well. Follow me gentlemen."

She doesn't take a breath until all three men go inside Oliver's office. The door shuts softly behind them and before she knows it she's running inside the ladies room, rushing towards the sink and splashing cold water on her face. The adrenaline is still pumping and refusing to calm down, and the cold water certainly didn't help. Slowly, Felicity takes a good look at herself in the mirror and hates what she sees.

_Get it together, Smoak. Compared you what you go through on a nightly basis, this should be a walk in the park._

Her pep talk doesn't help. Over to the side there's a plush sofa, and it beckons for her to come and sit down. She swallows nervously, but eventually decides to, you know, rest for a bit.

She sits inside the bathroom for 45 minutes.

She went out to see if Holden and You-Know-Who were still side, but that was it. The bathroom is much more comfortable, plus hardly anyone comes in here. There aren't very many employees on this floor as opposed to the Accounting department so it's a great hideout.

Checking her watch again, Felicity decides to poke her head out one more time. She cracks the door open and does a quick sweep, only to find Holden and  _him_  standing in front of the elevator with Oliver talking to them.

This is it.

She doesn't even think twice. Felicity stomps her way out of the bathroom in such a fast pace it might just set a world record. The cold air coming through the vent provides momentary relief. Once the glass door shuts behind her she inhales deeply and sighs; Felicity now knows what it feels like to be in heaven. She heads straight to her desk, lifts the chair's lever down so her seat is nearly on the floor, and hopes no one can see her hiding behind the computer.

* * *

He must know Felicity. Oliver's incredibly astute; he saw the way Felicity reacted when Eli waltzed in with Holden. As Holden jabbers on he keeps a tab on Eli, checking to see if he's a closet rapist or something. If Felicity reacted that strangely to him, then something must have happened. And, seeing that his trusted partner refused to make her presence known for the duration of the meeting, it must have been serious.

Suddenly he hears loud clacking and sees Felicity making a beeline for the office. Oliver hears Holden laugh and he remarks, "I'm getting a feeling she doesn't like me."

Oliver's in semi-damage control mode right now. He laughs alongside Holden and lies, "Felicity hasn't been feeling well today. She's never taken a day off, no matter how sick."

"I wish my secretary was like that. She can't even make my coffee for Pete's sake," he bellows out. Oliver doesn't find it funny.

The elevator door suddenly opens; thank God. Holden turns to him and smiles. "It was a pleasure. I hope we can continue our talks." He sticks his hand out and Oliver accepts, being slightly more firm with it.

"Definitely."

He's about to turn to Eli until he distractedly says, "I-I may have forgotten my phone inside the office." Apologetically, he briefly looks at Oliver. "Sorry."

"No, it's not a problem," Oliver replies automatically. Eli probably wants to talk to Felicity, and he can't very well threaten him right now.

The doors almost shut before Holden shoves his briefcase in between them. "Tell you what Eli: I'll grab some coffee downstairs and wait. Go and get your phone, son." He gets inside the elevator and winks at Eli.

Eli rushes out of there and all Oliver wants to do grab a lasso and pull him right back.

* * *

 

In order to occupy her mind, Felicity is doing some more research on a recent string of murders when the door suddenly opens. She ignores whoever it is because she's way too busy at the moment thinking about things.

"Felicity?"

_Harah._ Shit.

She hopes he'll go away. If she keeps ignoring him he'll walk away and get the hell out of here. Her fingers begin to shake and she messes up on some of the hacker coding, and that's when she knows she's really screwed over.

"Hey."

Eli's standing a good four feet away from her desk, but he's on the other side of her desk, therefore making her chair graze the floor didn't help. She can see all of him. Slowly but surely, Felicity brings herself to look at Eli straight in the face, her blood pumping at a furious rate. And  _wow_ , he just happened to look this hot now, did he?

His hair is still a deep brunette color, but he's probably grown at least three to four inches since she last saw him. His hair is spiked in a delicious David Beckham style, and somehow — someway — he started working out. Goodness, his jawline is just as defined as Oliver's, and is he wearing Gucci Guilty? She can smell it from here. That suit too . . .

"Hi. What are you doing here?" Crap, her word vomit spree is starting. "I-I mean, I know why you're here. Obviously. But —"

"Felicity," he begins. He swallows thickly and his eyes flit all over the room before landing on hers. He's clearly nervous, as she is, and Felicity wonders why. Oh, right — he might think she's going to say she's in love with him. Which will definitely not happen … again.

"It's been a long time."

Out of nowhere Oliver thunders through and walks past the two of them, completely ignoring Eli and pretending to be busy with his phone. He heads straight into his office but he makes eye contact with Felicity, silently telling her he'll be watching. Why, she doesn't know.

She focuses her attention back to Eli. Maybe if she pushes her glasses down the bridge of her nose her blurry vision will block Eli's hotness. "Yeah. I know."

"Six years, I think?"

"Yep."  _Come on glasses, fall!_

Eli laughs nervously again and switches the folder on his right hand to his left. He glances down at the floor and says, "I, uh, work as a consultant for Wayne Enterprises. Which is why I'm here."

There's so much awkwardness suffocating them she doesn't know how to fix it. Thankfully her glasses have fallen down, and now she can safely look at Eli without really looking at him. She's glad she decided against contacts this morning. "That's good. Much better than your comic book days," she unconsciously reminisces.

It seems like Felicity did manage to cool things down because Eli chuckles heartedly and grins stupidly at her. He had — has — such a nice smile. She finds herself relaxing; it slowly creeped on her. She doesn't know why she made such a big deal, but they're adults now. They might work together, too.

"I still own every single one of my comics," Eli adds. "Needless to say, I'm proud of them.

"Listen, I just — I'm leaving tomorrow morning and I wanted to catch up. For old times sake," Eli offers. He's back to being nervous again, but for some reason Felicity doesn't feel that way anymore.

Felicity eyes him softly. Truth be told, she  _has_  missed him. He was her first and only friend, and losing him was difficult on her. The least she can do is talk about the old days and put this weird situation behind them.

She smiles gently and says, "Sure, I'd like that. Did you want me to make dinner reservations or . . .?"

He shakes his head. "Not at all. I've got it covered." His face has certainly brightened up and he adds, "I'll call you here, back in the office, about where it's at. Does eight sound good to you?" he rushes out.

"Yeah. I'll be out by then."

"OK. Great. Good."

She chuckles at that point because he sounds exactly like her. "I'll be expecting your call."

Eli grins and says, "Don't worry, I'll pick something nice — definitely not a pizzeria." He waits for her to understand what he's saying, and when she does Felicity groans loudly at the memory.

"Please don't remind me of that." The last thing she wants to remember is the terrible food poisoning they got after eating the "best pizza" in their hometown. "I'll see you later tonight then."

He nods in acknowledgement, and it's obvious he's trying to hide his excitement. Maybe he missed her, too. As he walks out of there he turns back around and says, "See you soon . . . Felipe." Eli winks once Felicity remembers that horrid nickname, and she can hear his laugh even after shutting the door behind him.

She watches him go inside the elevator, feeling much at ease. That wasn't so bad. Clearly Felicity is the only one creating unnecessary drama, and if having a small dinner with Eli will help her forget about the late night drama, then so be it. Really, how harmless could it be?

Her office phone rings; it's Oliver. "Yeah?"

"Did you push your chair all the way down? I can't see you."

"It's, um, a little easier to avoid looking at someone who you ended up telling you're in love with."  _Jesus Christ._  Oliver's so used to her truth bombs he doesn't make a single comment. Sighing and accepting nothing will prevent her from saying such things, she pushes on the lever and her seat shoots right back up. Felicity cranes her neck and sees Oliver watching intently, the phone pressed on his ear. She gives a thumbs up and adds, "All better?"

"I should be asking you that question," he asks gently, concerned.

Felicity smiles. "I'm fine. Honestly."

Oliver gives a curt nod and shuts the phone, and they casually resume their work because thinking about past demons won't benefit a multibillion dollar company.

* * *

 

This is the sixth time changing her dress.

It's normal to be as nervous as she is, but this is getting out of hand. She and Eli are meeting as friends.  _Just_  friends. She doesn't want to appear as if she has something to prove, which is why she keeps second guessing. Felicity is an accomplished MIT alumnae who graduated with top honors. And she works for Queen Consolidated … as an executive assistant.

Groaning, Felicity collapses on her bed and almost wants to cancel. The problem is, she  _does_  have something to prove. She has to show Eli his rejection didn't hurt her, that having no friend to lean back on didn't crushed her. That she didn't become a lonely mess who threw herself in books because she had no one else.

Plus, when she does tell him about MIT he'll wonder why she's working as an EA. As of late she's been lying to people, saying she's the head of the tech department in addition to being Oliver's EA simply to avoid the knowing glances. Eli, of course, would be able to see through that BS.

She's not ashamed, but she's not stupid either. Felicity is fully aware of the gossip surrounding her, and to be honest, it makes perfect sense. It doesn't get to her because she's  _part_  of the truth, and knowing what Team Arrow does on a daily basis will forever trump any sort of discomfort she might feel during the day.

Felicity takes a deep breath and sees a plum color dress she bought from Topshop a while back poking out of her closet.

Maybe the third time is the charm … or seventh.

* * *

"Come on Speedy, we're late!"

"Oliver, don't yell at Thea like that."

He clenches his jaw, anger boiling to the surface. "We  _are_  late."

Oliver can see his mom give up, tears pooling on her eyes from his rudeness. He sticks with his hardened resolve, and when she says a quiet "Have fun" to him, he pretends he heard nothing at all.

A few minutes later Thea's footsteps echo down the hall and she emerges, her glittering gold dress brightening up the entire room. She smiles wide. "How do I look?"

"Like a Queen."

She outright chortles, and Oliver suddenly misses spending time with her. He didn't want to move out, but circumstances forced him too. "Talk about a cheesy response."

She finally makes it down the stairs with her five inch heels, and when she loops her arm around his he says, "There's no one else I would say that too."

"You are  _so_  full of shit."

* * *

"Wow, talk about fancy schmancy. Uh . . . I promise my vocabulary has increased since high school." Eli's grin grows bigger, and she feels the urge to defend herself. "There are simply too many adjectives to describe this place. I couldn't pick one."

He does a quick sweep of the room and leans forward, his twinkling eyes focusing on Felicity. "Between you and me, I only picked this because Wayne Enterprises pays for all of it. I don't mean to fill the Jewish stereotype, but in this case I honestly  _do_  mean to," he confesses.

Felicity laughs. "At least something our mothers taught us still sticks." She takes a bite from the buttered bread and asks, "You must not like Wayne, huh?"

Eli shrugs. "I don't know, he's . . . interesting. He sleeps through all the board meetings and does God knows what with his money, but there are always whispers of him doing business deals behind the scenes." Taking a sip from his Scotch glass he adds, "Basically it seems Bruce Wayne is CEO and Lucius Fox is just a stand in dummy for him, because all of his proposals seem to come from Wayne."

Hmm, it seems Bruce and Oliver are quiet similar. "Maybe he's not as ignorant as he appears."

"Yeah well, he's done a pretty good job of making himself look like an ass." He leans back in his chair and sighs. "Oliver seems like a responsible CEO."

"What about me?"

Felicity nears gives a blood curdling scream.  _"What are you doing here?"_  Immediately Eli stands up and shakes Oliver's hand. A second later Thea emerges from behind Oliver and waves at Felicity. "Oh, hi Thea." So it's a brother-sister date, then. At the same restaurant Eli made reservations for, at the same exact time.

"Hey, Felicity." She's wearing a top notch gold dress, and Felicity suddenly feels inadequate with her 70 dollar purple one. "Who's your date?"

Felicity's and Eli's eyes go round. "Oh no, we're not — he's not —"

"We're childhood friends," Eli cuts in, saving Felicity from embarrassment. He's sitting down now, smiling warmly. "My boss and Mr. Queen had a meeting today. I didn't realize Felicity works at QC, so . . ."

"Now you know," Oliver states.

The atmosphere has shifted. Eli clears his throat, and as he looks down at his lap Felicity glares at Oliver. He's watching Eli with a cool indifference, as if he's has something to prove. Really?

"We're interrupting your dinner," Thea finally says. Roughly she tugs on Oliver's arm and genuinely says, "It was nice seeing you both."

Thea whisks Oliver away, and when they're finally out of earshot Eli inquires, "Does he hate me?"

_Probably._  "No, he . . . doesn't trust people that easily."  _Of that, I'm 100 percent sure of._

* * *

Thea's entire body is pressed against him as they maneuver their way through the cramped tables. She motions for him to bring his head down so she can talk in his ear. Once she does she whispers, "Could you be anymore transparent, Ollie? And don't even deny it."

He chooses not to speak about it because it'll only make Thea ask more unnecessary questions, and clearly Oliver is not transparent. His sister has no idea what she's talking about.

* * *

"Remember Daniel Rasmussen?"

"And how he would cry in class every single day?"

"I heard he's a therapist."

She stops in her tracks. "No way."

Eli's face is slightly flushed from the alcohol and laughter. "I'm not joking. Apparently Christina —"

"Slutty Christina?" They resume walking.

"I forgot about that! Well, apparently she went to see him, and she said he started crying with her when she told him about losing her job."

Felicity can't contain her laughter at that point. The wine is probably making her a little less inhibited, but reminiscing about old schoolmates will never get old. She doesn't doubt that no one remembers her, but she sure as hell remembers them.

God, she misses this.

Eli was her only friend. Ever. It was always Felicity and Eli, Eli and Felicity. They would come home with mud all over them, or sometimes a brand new frog they found in the creek. Whenever Felicity's mom would make her upset, Eli would be a phone call away. When her mother didn't make it to her Student of the Month lunch, Eli called his father at work to accompany Felicity for the lunch. As they got older is was impossible to resist his charms, and before she knew it she was in love with him. And made the worst mistake by telling him.

"Is that your car right there?" Eli asks, pointing across the street.

Felicity pulls her jacket a little closer and looks to where he's pointing at. "Yeah, it's mine."

They stop walking. The imminent goodbye is here. "It's a nice car."

"It's just a Mini."

"Better than mine," Eli shoots back. He's amused.

Felicity feigns shock and says, "Gasp! Such a travesty. Felicity Smoak, EA to Oliver Queen has a better car than Eli Trieger, Wayne Enterprises consultant." She places her hands on her hips and adds, "What has the world come to?"

Eli joins in the laughter. "I take public transportation there. You know how much I hate driving," he says.

"Mm, that I do remember."

It gets quiet all of a sudden. Felicity hasn't felt this content in a very long time. She's glad they were able to move past her confession and have a good dinner tonight. Maybe they'll keep in touch.

"So I — God, I didn't realize how hard this was going to be," Eli begins, a nervous chuckle emanating from his lips. He presses his fingertips against his temples.

She's confused. "Saying goodbye?"

Eli inhales deeply. "Not entirely." He shoves his hands inside his pockets and says, "I know things between us . . . got messed up."

A flare of embarrassment shoots up from out of nowhere, a lump quickly beginning to form in her throat. She's in slight panic mode, and she definitely does not want to revisit their past. They're adults. There's no need to talk about it.

But Felicity swallows whatever feelings threatening to spill over and she replies, "It was my fault. I put you in a position to . . . do or say something which you honestly didn't feel. And I'm sorry."

"No way, Felicity. In no way is this your fault," he responds vehemently. Stepping forward, Eli peers at her softly and says, "It's all mine. I shouldn't have stopped being friends with you. You needed me and I . . . I did the one thing I promised I would never do.

" _I'm_  sorry."

Felicity shifts her feet, uncomfortable. She's not sure how she feels about this. Felicity has dreamed about this conversation a million times, and the fact that it's happening right now is making her dizzy. There are so many things she wants to say to Eli, but for some reason she can't find the words to express them.

"And I also … I knew you worked at QC when I came here." Felicity's head shoots up, surprised.

"What do you mean?"

Eli exhales loudly, looking away from Felicity before focusing his attention back on her. "There's some stuff in the corporate rumor mill."

Her mood instantly turns sour. "Right. That I slept my way up to the top, and that Oliver bangs me in his office every single night. Which is why we have glass doors so everyone can see." She's so sick and tired of this.

Confusion clouds his face for a moment, but immediately he realizes Felicity's being sarcastic in the darkest sense. "Well, I went to visit mom and dad, and I just — I realized I missed you. Terribly." He pauses for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "You really understood me. We understood each other.

"And after spending these last three hours with you, I feel like no time has passed. You're still Felipe and I'm Skinny Eli." Felicity smiles at the sound of his nickname, but she's not sure where this conversation is going.

Breaking her silence, she questions, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying . . ." Eli takes another step towards Felicity, his green eyes shining under the moonlight. "I'm saying I never should have told you I didn't feel the same way. I'm saying I didn't realize how important you were to me, and I destroyed our . . . relationship. I'm saying I want a chance to make it up to you and be  _with_  you."

For once in her life, Felicity's speechless.

All these years Felicity has thought about alternative scenarios, what she should have said, what she could have said. But it's been six years and her life has changed. Her perspectives have changed. And considering what she's gone through the last two years … Felicity is a different person.

"I don't know what to say." There's no space between them. Needing to distance herself from him, she steps back and lets the cold air cool her. "I'm not the same girl from six years ago."

He nods. "I understand. I'm not the same person, either. I have muscles." Felicity and Eli laugh a little, but the mood quickly resumes back to its serious atmosphere.

Felicity is currently paying attention to the sidewalk. "You're expecting me to have the same feelings for you from high school." Finally mustering the courage to say it to Eli's face, she looks straight at him and says, "I don't love you anymore."

Eli immediately goes from hopeful to upset. His jaw ticks a little and he asks, "Is it Oliver? Are you honestly with him?"

"Jesus Christ, Eli. Do you really think that low of me?" she replies, shocked and beyond hurt.  _Of course_  Eli would automatically react this way and failing to take account it was Felicity's feelings which initially got hurt before his. What a double standard. She's angry now.

"Shit, sorry." She crosses her arms, an act of defiance. "No, please Felicity," he pleads. "It was completely childish of me. I  _am_  sorry. There's a reason why you were picked to work with Oliver, and I know for a fact it's because you are the most intelligent person I have ever known."

It dawns on her, then. The one thing Felicity has been aching to do is to prove to Eli she no longer relies on him. She doesn't need his shoulder to cry on, she doesn't need his God awful nickname to make her laugh, and she doesn't need someone who can't appreciate her. She relies on herself, and that's how it will always be.

"I don't need you, Eli. Not anymore. I pick my own battles and I fight them." She sighs. "You took my love for you for granted."

"Felicity—"

"You expected me to be there no matter what. And I was. But when I needed you in my most vulnerable state you . . . you just walked away without another word.

"I think I was in love with idea of someone to hold on to. I don't need that anymore, Eli."

It's beyond uncomfortable now, but she stands by what she said. What she's feeling now is indescribable; it feels so good. A huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders — at least six years' worth. She's free.

Eli, rejected and clearly not expecting this to happen, runs an agitated hand through his hair. He blows out a shaky breath and steps back. "OK."

"OK."

There's a moment where he's deciding to either hug, kiss, or simply walk away from her. In the end he gives a slight nod, hurt etched all over his face. "Promise me one thing, Felicity."

"Definitely."

"Promise me you'll be happy."

She's surprised by his kind request. Felicity smiles sadly and says, "Yes. I'll try."

Eli looks out at the street before turning around, taking slow, pathetic steps away from Felicity. He stops suddenly. "Not try, Felipe. You  _will_."

She doesn't know how to respond to that, but as he walks further and further away from her life, she's beginning to think maybe she  _will_  be happy. At some point.

* * *

It's cold in the foundry, and her party jacket isn't helping. Unfortunately the spare blankets they have are in her apartment, inside the dryer and begging to be back here. Her jacket will have to do for now.

The computers are on, but she's idly scanning them just so she can get her mind off of things. Like that conversation.

Without warning, the foundry doors open and Oliver strolls inside, still wearing his suit from tonight's dinner. "Hey you."

"Hey yourself."

Felicity resumes browsing the computers. Oliver comes closer but stays a few feet back, finally leaning against a table opposite from her. "I thought you were hanging out with . . . Ethan, is it?"

A wave of annoyance hits her. "It's Eli. Don't pretend like you didn't know."

She can imagine Oliver's eyebrows furrowing in the middle. "Is everything alright?" he asks softly.

Felicity doesn't feel like talking to him, but it all spills out anyway. She spins the chair and faces him, taking a deep breath as she does so.

"Eli told me he made a mistake for not returning my feelings for him. He said he wanted another chance. Which," she sighs exasperatedly, "I don't get."

"Why not?"

"Because . . . Why did it take so long for him to realize, you know? And for so long I thought I shouldn't have said what I said, but he's the blind coward," she throws out, angrily. "I had the courage to say what I said. I-I was there for him all the time. He was too, but it took not speaking or seeing me for six years to comprehend what he missed.

"I'm not the girl who waits. I'm not the girl who will have the same response, because the world spins and so do I."

She doesn't recognize the heat behind her words until she looks at Oliver. He's got his mask of indifference on, but she can see the gears running in his head. A searing hot flash courses through her, and she's berating herself for not grasping what her words could have meant. Especially in front of Oliver.

But she's so tired. Felicity is the girl who hacks into government databases and doesn't give a rat's ass of what other people think of her. Felicity Smoak wears neon nail polish because she can, and if she wants to she will. Felicity Smoak relies on herself. She is strong and she is intelligent.

She's not Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen's EA. She is  _Felicity Smoak_ , the girl from Clinton, Illinois who helps bring down the bad guys at night. The girl who doesn't mind getting her hands dirty for the greater good.

And if people — like Oliver — can't realize how important she is, no way in hell is she going to waste her time. She'll do what she has to do, but life is too short to prevent herself from not taking advantage of what this world has to offer.

"I know."

Oliver still has his mask on, but she can see a bit of his resolve crumble. She gives him a steely glare, because she's not entirely sure he knows.

"All I ever want for you is to be happy." His words jolt her and not in the good way. Was he listening in on the conversation between her and Eli?

"You're right, you're not the girl who waits. You take what you want. And if that someone can't see how special you are, then they don't deserve you," he whispers. It is then when his facade breaks, and Felicity thinks maybe she doesn't Oliver as much credit as she should.

He takes one deep breath and says, "Don't let the world pass you by. Don't let other's mistakes hold you back. Move on, Felicity. You deserve it."

"So I don't deserve you?" she blurts out.

She doesn't know why she asked that. As the silence lengthens, she's immediately stabbed with rejection and aching nostalgia. This is more or less the conversation between Eli six years ago. She admitted to something she shouldn't have. And she let it hold her back.

Oliver looks at her sadly and she feels tears threatening to spill over.  _3, 2,1._ He doesn't respond; instead, he turns around and heads towards the staircases.  _Oh no._ Felicity faces the computers, and she fails at preventing a couple of tears dripping down.  _Suck it up, Smoak_. She grinds her teeth together and pushes whatever rejection she's feeling.

Fuck it. Oliver thinks she doesn't deserve him, then so be it. He thinks he's better than her. She's the type of person who doesn't wait, and tonight, Oliver made her choice easier for him by telling her not to.

"No Felicity. I just don't deserve _you,"_  she hears Oliver say. Before she can turn around and see him, he already disappears through the doors, leaving her alone with the weight of his words.

She doesn't know how long she sits there. But it suddenly hits her that maybe neither one of them deserve each other, and for some reason, it makes her think maybe they  _do_  in some way. Because if two people think the other is unattainable, then perhaps what they're truly missing is the person they believe shouldn't be theirs.

Two broken halves make a whole. Ying and Yang. Left and right.

In reality, Felicity doesn't wait for indecisiveness. That was what held her back for six years after the fateful conversation with Eli — it was his inability to make a firm decision right at that spot, only to return six years later with an altered response.

But today . . . it might be different.  _She_  knows and  _he_  knows. And she might be willing to wait a little longer.

 


End file.
